WHY ARE YOU CONSTANTLY STICKING BY MY SIDE? HOW COME EVERYTIME I TURN AROUND I SEE YOUR FACE?
WHAT IS IT ABOUT ME THAT YOU LOVE SO MUCH? YOU SHOULD BE DISGUSTED WITH ME BY NOW.
EVERYTIME YOU'VE PLEADED WITH ME NOT TO DO SOMETHING FOR MY OWN GOOD I ALWAYS SEEM TO FIND A WAY TO IGNORE THE ADVICE.
I CAN REMEMBER ONE POINT IN TIME WHEN I TURNED MY BACK ON YOU NOT REALIZING WHAT I WAS DOING EXACTLY!
ALL I KNOW IS LIFE WAS GREAT & I GUESS I NO LONGER NEEDED YOU TO SUPPORT ME.
THE VERY MOMENT THIS SO CALLED GOOD LIFE BLEW AWAY , I IMMEDIATELY TURNED TO LOOK FOR YOU.
ALL OF MY SO CALLED FRIENDS AND FAKE A## SUPPORT SYSTEMS WERE NO WHERE TO BE FOUND, BUT YOU WERE.
THERE YOU WERE STANDING RIGHT THERE BY MY SIDE. WHAT IS IT? WHY DO YOU LOVE ME SO MUCH?
CONSTANTLY HERE YOU ARE PICKING UP ALL OF THE BROKEN PIECES OF MY DYSFUNCTIONAL PUZZLE OF A LIFE.
OK ,,,,,,,,,, SO THIS IS HOW ITS GOING TO BE????? ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO CONTINUE TO RIDE FOR ME LIKE THIS?
IF SO, I NEED TO GET MY ACT TOGETHER AND FAST!!!! I KNOW WHAT YA'LL THINKING!!! WHAT NIGGA IS SHE TALKING ABOUT???? WHO ELSE, THE ONE & ONLY, J TO THE .E. TO THE S.U.S!!!!
I LOVE YOU LORD!!!! I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO. YOU MAKE IT SO EASY! I WILL ALWAYS PUT YOU FIRST IN MY LIFE.
I WILL ALWAYS LOOK TO YOU FOR HELP BEFORE ANY OTHER BECAUSE YOU SAID THAT I COULD. EVERYTHING THAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG IN MY LIFE HAS & YOU HAVE HELPED ME THROUGH EVERY SINGLE STRUGGLE! LIKE BEYONCE SAYS " I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU LOVE ME, & THAT'S WHY I LOVE YOU, CATCH ME WHEN I FALL EXCEPT ME FLAWS AND ALL, AND THAT'S WHY I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!
I DON'T DESERVE YOU!
Monday, October 18, 2010
MISTAKES!!!!
WHY IS IT THAT WHEN MOST PEOPLE MESS UP SO BAD, INSTEAD OF ATTEMPTING TO CLEAN UP THE MESS THEY BECOME DISCOURAGED AND CONTINUE TO CAUSE AN EVEN BIGGER MESS. IT IS NEVER TO LATE TO CLIMB UP OUT OF THAT HOLE NO MATTER HOW DEEP IT HAS GOTTEN. FAITH, SURPRISINGLY, SEEMS TO BE SO SCARCE NOW ADAYS!!!
I BELIEVE FAITH IS THE KEY. FAITH IN YOURSELF. HOW CAN YOU DO OR ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING WITHOUT BELIEF IN YOUR ABILITIES TO BE ALL YOU CAN BE.
WE SOMETIMES MAKE THE SIMPLEST SITUATIONS SO HARD OUT OF FEAR. WHETHER IT BE FEAR OF FAILURE, LET DOWNS ETC......
I HAVE A FRIEND THAT IS SINGLE AND SHE LOVES MEN. EVERYONE KNOWS THIS ABOUT HER. SHE IS NOT A BAD PERSON BY FAR, BUT SHE DOES THINGS THAT WOULD EASILY MAKE HER LOOK THAT WAY. SHE IS SINGLE AND CAN DO AS SHE PLEASES AS FAR AS DATING IS CONCERNED YET SHE ACTS AS IF SHE DOESN'T KNOW THIS. WHEN SHE MEETS SOMEONE NEW THEY WILL NORMALLY ASK HER OFF THE BACK IF SHE IS SEEING SOMEONE. BECAUSE OF HER ATTRACTIVE PHYSICAL APPEARANCE MEN AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME SHE IS ALREADY PROMISED TO SOMEONE, I SHOULD KNOW THE SAME THING HAPPENS TO ME. LOL!
INSTEAD OF BEING HONEST RIGHT OFF SHE'LL LIE & SAY "NO, I'M NOT SEEING ANYONE", KNOWING GOOD AND WELL SHE IS. NOW WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?
THIS IS SOMEONE SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW. SHE HAS NO OBLIGATIONS TO HIM NOR ARE THERE ANY FEELINGS INVOLVED AT THIS POINT. DOES SHE THINK THAT IF SHE IS HONEST ABOUT HER DATING STATUS SHE WILL SCARE THE GUY OFF? MAYBE SHE WILL OR MAYBE SHE WON'T, BUT LIKE I'VE ALWAYS TOLD HER, THAT IS NOT UP TO HER TO CHOOSE. IF THAT PERSON ASKED THE QUESTION THEN THAT MEANS THEY REALLY WANTED TO KNOW. THEY MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE A REASON FOR WANTING TO KNOW BUT AGAIN THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW WHAT THEY COULD BE GETTING INTO GOOD OR BAD. SHE DOESN'T REALIZE THAT SHE HAS ALREADY DOOMED THE RELATIONSHIP BEFORE IT HAS EVEN STARTED BECAUSE IT HAS BEGUN BASED ON A LIE!
I KNOW THAT THE TRUTH CAN SOMETIMES COME AS A SHOCKER IN SOME SITUATIONS BUT I THINK THAT IF A PERSON IS INTERESTED ENOUGH THEY WILL RESPECT THE FACT THAT YOU WERE HONEST UP FRONT.
I AM SINGLE AT THIS POINT IN TIME AND SOONER OR LATER I WILL FIND MYSELF ON THE DATING SCENE AGAIN. BECAUSE OF MISTAKES THAT I HAVE MADE IN PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS I THINK I HAVE A GOOD SHOT AT IT THIS TIME AROUND.
I HAVE LEARNED TO BE REAL AND HONEST ABOUT MY STATUS AT ALL TIMES NO MATTER HOW INTERESTED A PERSON MAY BE IN ME. IF I DECIDE TO GO AND HANG OUT WITH SOMEONE I WILL BE SURE TO LET THEM KNOW UP FRONT THAT THAT IS ALL IT IS,,,, HANGING OUT. IF I BEGIN TO FEEL FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE I WILL BE SURE & LET IT BE KNOWN RIGHT AWAY. I HAVE FOUND MYSELF IN HOLES BEFORE THAT I HAVE DUG ALL ON MY OWN AND EVENTHOUGH I CANNOT SAY THAT THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN I CAN DO MY BEST TRYING FOR IT NOT TO.
IT IS NOT ABOUT THE MISTAKES THAT WE MAKE BUT WHAT WE CHOOSE TO DO AFTER THEM.
FOR INSTANCE; I ACTUALLY ALLOWED MYSELF TO BE THE OTHER WOMAN IN A RELATIONSHIP NOT ONCE BUT TWICE IN MY LIFE, KNOWINGLY BUT NOT KNOWINGLY. ALL THE SIGNS WERE THERE AND SO WAS SHE. EACH TIME IT WAS WITH SOMEONE I LOVED DEARLY NOT JUST SOME HERE AND THERE RELATIONSHIP BUT WITH SOMEONE I COULD HAVE MARRIED. AFTER THE 1ST TIME SO MANY YEARS AGO BEFORE MY SON I PROMISED MYSELF THAT I WOULD NEVER ALLOW THAT TO HAPPEN AGAIN BUT YET AND STILL IT DID. THOSE WORDS WERE EASIER SAID THAN DONE.
I MADE THE MISTAKE OF NOT LOVING MYSELF ENOUGH. I WASN'T FULLY AWARE OF MY WORTH AND I DIDN'T SHOW ENOUGH RESPECT FOR MYSELF THAT HAD ALREADY BEEN INSTILLED IN ME SO LONG AGO FROM CHILD-HOOD. EACH TIME I WAS TOLD BY THESE MEN THAT IF I LOVED THAT PERSON ENOUGH I SHOULD BE ABLE TO STICK AROUND THROUGH ANYTHING AND WAIT ON THEM. BUT I FEEL LIKE IF THEY LOVED ME ENOUGH THEN THEY WOULDN'T HAVE WANTED ME TOO.
MY FATHER USED TO PREACH TO ME THAT IF I ENDED UP WITH A MAN THAT FEELS THAT I ALONE AM NOT ENOUGH FOR HIM THEN I DID NOT NEED TO BE WITH THAT MAN AND IF THAT MAN ALONE WASN'T ENOUGH FOR ME THEN I NEED LOOK AT MYSELF. LOVE IS A POWERFUL CRAZY THING. IT CAN BLIND YOU OR OPEN YOUR EYES. A LARGE AMOUNT OF THE MISTAKES I HAVE MADE IN MY LIFETIME HAVE BEEN IN THE NAME OF LOVE.
AFTER BEING IN A SITUATION TO WHERE I HAD TO SHARE SOMEONE I LOVED WITH SOMEONE ELSE I TURNED INTO SOMEONE ELSE. HATEFUL AND MEAN. NOT ME!!! THAT WAS AND IS NOT ME!!!!!! 2ND MISTAKE,,,,,, ALLOWING MYSELF TO CHANGE UP MY WHOLE CHARACTER MAKEUP BY ALLOWING ANGER AND ENVY TO GET THE BEST OF ME.
THIS WAS A MISTAKE THAT I AM STILL PAYING FOR. THIS MISTAKE I AM AND WILL RECTIFY.
I HAVE MADE MISTAKES AND WILL CONTINUE TO MAKE THEM. I PROMISED MYSELF THAT WHEN THESE MISTAKES AND MISHAPS OCCUR THAT I WILL NOT ONLY CORRECT THEM BUT ALSO OWN UP TO THEM!!!!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Focussing On The Bad!
If you were looking for employment and could place anything on your resume and have it be true about you, what would you choose? I am going to provide you with some facts about someone famous and once these few facts have been listed I am going to tell you who this person is.
This man is a trained pilot. He is able to get into just about any aircraft and fly himself anywhere he wants to go in the world. He is a Harvard graduate. He leaded the largest state body in the United States of America. Harvard!!! Wow. Just that notation alone on any resume will land you any job you could possibly think of in your career field.
Do you know who this person is?
George W. Bush, our previous president.
Statistics show that 85% of Americans felt he did a poor job of running this country while in office and 95% of Americans do not care for him as a person. Do you know that when I tell people about his accomplishments they normally respond with, "I thought he was stupid!" LOL. Yea,, me too.
Even with his accomplishments and all he's done for Texas's educational and bilingual programs most people, including myself, cannot see any real good in what he's done for this country because in our eyes he's done way too much wrong.
John F. Kennedy Jr., on the other hand had help from his father getting through school along with his brothers. Had supposed ties with the Mob. Engaged in marital affairs while in office and supposedly abused drugs from time to time. With all of this being said this man was the most highly respected and adored president this nation has seen. He had a great moral leadership role in the Civil Rights movement of the 60's and because of this he captured the hearts of America. My grandmother loved him. You could not come into her house and say anything in a negative fashion about this man or you would literally be put out of her home!!! LOL
It is easier to focus on the negative attributes of a person. Once we get an idea or opinion of a person stuck in our brain it becomes extremely hard to sway that view no matter what the person does after the fact.
We as human beings are sometimes viewed as emotional vampires. We feed off of the misery and hardship of others whether it be in a good or bad way. Whether we want to help out or keep someone down, either way it will catch our attention. I hate this about us sometimes. Why is it so hard to grasp and keep our attention when the situation is purely good. I swear I sometimes wish I was a MARTIAN!!
This man is a trained pilot. He is able to get into just about any aircraft and fly himself anywhere he wants to go in the world. He is a Harvard graduate. He leaded the largest state body in the United States of America. Harvard!!! Wow. Just that notation alone on any resume will land you any job you could possibly think of in your career field.
Do you know who this person is?
George W. Bush, our previous president.
Statistics show that 85% of Americans felt he did a poor job of running this country while in office and 95% of Americans do not care for him as a person. Do you know that when I tell people about his accomplishments they normally respond with, "I thought he was stupid!" LOL. Yea,, me too.
Even with his accomplishments and all he's done for Texas's educational and bilingual programs most people, including myself, cannot see any real good in what he's done for this country because in our eyes he's done way too much wrong.
John F. Kennedy Jr., on the other hand had help from his father getting through school along with his brothers. Had supposed ties with the Mob. Engaged in marital affairs while in office and supposedly abused drugs from time to time. With all of this being said this man was the most highly respected and adored president this nation has seen. He had a great moral leadership role in the Civil Rights movement of the 60's and because of this he captured the hearts of America. My grandmother loved him. You could not come into her house and say anything in a negative fashion about this man or you would literally be put out of her home!!! LOL
It is easier to focus on the negative attributes of a person. Once we get an idea or opinion of a person stuck in our brain it becomes extremely hard to sway that view no matter what the person does after the fact.
We as human beings are sometimes viewed as emotional vampires. We feed off of the misery and hardship of others whether it be in a good or bad way. Whether we want to help out or keep someone down, either way it will catch our attention. I hate this about us sometimes. Why is it so hard to grasp and keep our attention when the situation is purely good. I swear I sometimes wish I was a MARTIAN!!
DON'T PRAISE ME!
Please don't praise me!! I am far from perfection. The moment you get caught up on how good I make you feel or all the nice things I do for you, you will be easily let down.
People are your best friend when you are doing exactly what they want or what they think you should be doing but the moment you add the word NO into your vocabulary you can easily turn into their worst enemy.
Things change, people change. Sometimes for the good or the bad, it really all depends whose doing the judging on that matter. I have always been known as the quiet, loving, somewhat soft spoken and sometimes sickly individual. I have never really had a social life yet I consider myself to be a very physically attractive woman. I don't club or party at all so you can see why it would be hard for me to keep close friends.
However,,,, Men love me. Why is that? Next to the looks, what is it about me that drive men wild?
Soft spoken, humm? Most men that are head strong have told me that they want a women to listen to them and go along with what they say for the most part,, really I've been told this but mostly they just want someone to back them .
Sickly,,,,? Most of the men I questioned told me that they wouldn't necessarily want a woman that is sick all the time but they could see why that situation would attract them. Most men want a woman that they can take care of. Believe it or not, we all go into relationships hoping that the other person is inferior to us in some way!!! No really!!! We need to know that there is something within us or about us that we have to offer or give to that other individual, which would mean the other person needs to be without it!
No partying,,,,????? now what man wants a woman that is constantly out in some club or house party shaking her a## and getting drunk?? Non of the men I asked said that this is something that they would actually put up with.
Ok, so what if everything I told you about me changed, even in the smallest way, what then? If you were with me for years & I suddenly started speaking up in conversations that I normally don't and going against some of your ideas I once agreed with or gave no previous opinion on. If I suddenly was never sick ever again,,, after having migraines everyday that totally shut me down at times. If I no longer need you checking on me throughout the day making sure that I was ok while driving,,, would you feel unimportant or less needed?
If I suddenly started going and hanging out with new people after never going out to clubs at all unless it was an extreme special occasion. What would be your initial reaction to this?
Would you be pleased about each change or would you look for some hidden reasons for these sudden changes?
Life is full of changes, it is inevitable. Never allow yourself to get use to something always being done the way you want it; the way that you have been made comfortable to it.
For instance: I love to eat and I tend to go to the same restaurants. One day I just may pull up & that favorite restaurant of mine will no longer be standing. I am almost positive I would be very angry. I would wonder why? Why did they leave? What happened? Were they in debt? Did the owner have family hardship?
Hell, just because I showed up everyday doesn't mean I alone made their business for them.
My point is we all get use to something or someone being so great in our eyes but the moment the situation changes to where we are no longer able to benefit from it in a way we once did we tend become disappointed or angry even.
We will have these feelings regardless of what the circumstances may be behind these sudden changes. Don't tell me how you think I smell like a sweet beautiful Rose one day but then can't handle the smell of the cow manure that helps me grow. Don't praise my good qualities but then not be able to deal with the not so good ones.
Please Don't Praise me,,, I am only human!
People are your best friend when you are doing exactly what they want or what they think you should be doing but the moment you add the word NO into your vocabulary you can easily turn into their worst enemy.
Things change, people change. Sometimes for the good or the bad, it really all depends whose doing the judging on that matter. I have always been known as the quiet, loving, somewhat soft spoken and sometimes sickly individual. I have never really had a social life yet I consider myself to be a very physically attractive woman. I don't club or party at all so you can see why it would be hard for me to keep close friends.
However,,,, Men love me. Why is that? Next to the looks, what is it about me that drive men wild?
Soft spoken, humm? Most men that are head strong have told me that they want a women to listen to them and go along with what they say for the most part,, really I've been told this but mostly they just want someone to back them .
Sickly,,,,? Most of the men I questioned told me that they wouldn't necessarily want a woman that is sick all the time but they could see why that situation would attract them. Most men want a woman that they can take care of. Believe it or not, we all go into relationships hoping that the other person is inferior to us in some way!!! No really!!! We need to know that there is something within us or about us that we have to offer or give to that other individual, which would mean the other person needs to be without it!
No partying,,,,????? now what man wants a woman that is constantly out in some club or house party shaking her a## and getting drunk?? Non of the men I asked said that this is something that they would actually put up with.
Ok, so what if everything I told you about me changed, even in the smallest way, what then? If you were with me for years & I suddenly started speaking up in conversations that I normally don't and going against some of your ideas I once agreed with or gave no previous opinion on. If I suddenly was never sick ever again,,, after having migraines everyday that totally shut me down at times. If I no longer need you checking on me throughout the day making sure that I was ok while driving,,, would you feel unimportant or less needed?
If I suddenly started going and hanging out with new people after never going out to clubs at all unless it was an extreme special occasion. What would be your initial reaction to this?
Would you be pleased about each change or would you look for some hidden reasons for these sudden changes?
Life is full of changes, it is inevitable. Never allow yourself to get use to something always being done the way you want it; the way that you have been made comfortable to it.
For instance: I love to eat and I tend to go to the same restaurants. One day I just may pull up & that favorite restaurant of mine will no longer be standing. I am almost positive I would be very angry. I would wonder why? Why did they leave? What happened? Were they in debt? Did the owner have family hardship?
Hell, just because I showed up everyday doesn't mean I alone made their business for them.
My point is we all get use to something or someone being so great in our eyes but the moment the situation changes to where we are no longer able to benefit from it in a way we once did we tend become disappointed or angry even.
We will have these feelings regardless of what the circumstances may be behind these sudden changes. Don't tell me how you think I smell like a sweet beautiful Rose one day but then can't handle the smell of the cow manure that helps me grow. Don't praise my good qualities but then not be able to deal with the not so good ones.
Please Don't Praise me,,, I am only human!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
THE ABSENCE OF THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!!
Cliff Young was a 61 year old Australian native that turned out to be the oldest man to win a marathon.
He didn't win just any marathon but a 600 mile marathon. Do you know how long the average marathon is? 26.2 miles. This man showed up at the starting line with some overalls and mud boots on. No running gear, no previous training and no basic knowledge on marathons in general. This 61 year old man competed against some of the most highly trained runners in the world. He not only crossed the finish line before they did but he beat the other runners by 1 day and a half. During his initial interview he was asked how he did it. His reply was; "I didn't sleep." He had no clue that he was actually supposed to sleep. Well if you are an experienced runner and you know anything about running then you'd know that you are supposed to rest and sleep 18 hours out of the day and run for 6 each day. Well, Cliff was not informed of this. By the time he started out on his journey it was too late to inform him. He only stopped to change his clothing rehydrate and eat. When asked how he did it he told the interviewer that he had a farm with no horses. He had to chase his own pigs and cattle. LOL,,,WOW!!! This man won $10,000 for his unexpected victory and he split the reward between the 5 other runners and kept non for himself. Man!!! Talk about a good and rare person!
You see, Cliff was never informed of this so called truth about the right way to run, which allowed him, in the end, to win the race.
I truly believe that we all have some unspoken truths about ourselves that are not really truths but just opinions and personal scotomas that we have carried all of our lives.
Everyone knows that there will never be a black president of the United States Of America!!!!
I really don't think Barrack Obama got that email!! LOL
Everyone knows that a convicted criminal will never work in law enforcement or have any type of self respecting job with honor!!!!! Tell that to the day time TV star Judge Mathis!!!!!! LOL
We start out listening to the wrong things early on in life and they tend to stick with us. After awhile they become facts and no matter what other information comes along to contradict these life long facts we will stick by what has been the truth for the longest of time. I have believed for so long that the perfect man or relationship didn't exist. I mean, what the heck, there is no such thing. Who told me this? Why did I have this already planted in my brain before I was even allowed to date. I no longer believe this false truth. There is a such thing as a perfect person. That person can be perfect for me!!!!!
For we do not see the truth,,, we see the truth as we believe it to be!
He didn't win just any marathon but a 600 mile marathon. Do you know how long the average marathon is? 26.2 miles. This man showed up at the starting line with some overalls and mud boots on. No running gear, no previous training and no basic knowledge on marathons in general. This 61 year old man competed against some of the most highly trained runners in the world. He not only crossed the finish line before they did but he beat the other runners by 1 day and a half. During his initial interview he was asked how he did it. His reply was; "I didn't sleep." He had no clue that he was actually supposed to sleep. Well if you are an experienced runner and you know anything about running then you'd know that you are supposed to rest and sleep 18 hours out of the day and run for 6 each day. Well, Cliff was not informed of this. By the time he started out on his journey it was too late to inform him. He only stopped to change his clothing rehydrate and eat. When asked how he did it he told the interviewer that he had a farm with no horses. He had to chase his own pigs and cattle. LOL,,,WOW!!! This man won $10,000 for his unexpected victory and he split the reward between the 5 other runners and kept non for himself. Man!!! Talk about a good and rare person!
You see, Cliff was never informed of this so called truth about the right way to run, which allowed him, in the end, to win the race.
I truly believe that we all have some unspoken truths about ourselves that are not really truths but just opinions and personal scotomas that we have carried all of our lives.
Everyone knows that there will never be a black president of the United States Of America!!!!
I really don't think Barrack Obama got that email!! LOL
Everyone knows that a convicted criminal will never work in law enforcement or have any type of self respecting job with honor!!!!! Tell that to the day time TV star Judge Mathis!!!!!! LOL
We start out listening to the wrong things early on in life and they tend to stick with us. After awhile they become facts and no matter what other information comes along to contradict these life long facts we will stick by what has been the truth for the longest of time. I have believed for so long that the perfect man or relationship didn't exist. I mean, what the heck, there is no such thing. Who told me this? Why did I have this already planted in my brain before I was even allowed to date. I no longer believe this false truth. There is a such thing as a perfect person. That person can be perfect for me!!!!!
For we do not see the truth,,, we see the truth as we believe it to be!
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