Please don't praise me!! I am far from perfection. The moment you get caught up on how good I make you feel or all the nice things I do for you, you will be easily let down.
People are your best friend when you are doing exactly what they want or what they think you should be doing but the moment you add the word NO into your vocabulary you can easily turn into their worst enemy.
Things change, people change. Sometimes for the good or the bad, it really all depends whose doing the judging on that matter. I have always been known as the quiet, loving, somewhat soft spoken and sometimes sickly individual. I have never really had a social life yet I consider myself to be a very physically attractive woman. I don't club or party at all so you can see why it would be hard for me to keep close friends.
However,,,, Men love me. Why is that? Next to the looks, what is it about me that drive men wild?
Soft spoken, humm? Most men that are head strong have told me that they want a women to listen to them and go along with what they say for the most part,, really I've been told this but mostly they just want someone to back them .
Sickly,,,,? Most of the men I questioned told me that they wouldn't necessarily want a woman that is sick all the time but they could see why that situation would attract them. Most men want a woman that they can take care of. Believe it or not, we all go into relationships hoping that the other person is inferior to us in some way!!! No really!!! We need to know that there is something within us or about us that we have to offer or give to that other individual, which would mean the other person needs to be without it!
No partying,,,,????? now what man wants a woman that is constantly out in some club or house party shaking her a## and getting drunk?? Non of the men I asked said that this is something that they would actually put up with.
Ok, so what if everything I told you about me changed, even in the smallest way, what then? If you were with me for years & I suddenly started speaking up in conversations that I normally don't and going against some of your ideas I once agreed with or gave no previous opinion on. If I suddenly was never sick ever again,,, after having migraines everyday that totally shut me down at times. If I no longer need you checking on me throughout the day making sure that I was ok while driving,,, would you feel unimportant or less needed?
If I suddenly started going and hanging out with new people after never going out to clubs at all unless it was an extreme special occasion. What would be your initial reaction to this?
Would you be pleased about each change or would you look for some hidden reasons for these sudden changes?
Life is full of changes, it is inevitable. Never allow yourself to get use to something always being done the way you want it; the way that you have been made comfortable to it.
For instance: I love to eat and I tend to go to the same restaurants. One day I just may pull up & that favorite restaurant of mine will no longer be standing. I am almost positive I would be very angry. I would wonder why? Why did they leave? What happened? Were they in debt? Did the owner have family hardship?
Hell, just because I showed up everyday doesn't mean I alone made their business for them.
My point is we all get use to something or someone being so great in our eyes but the moment the situation changes to where we are no longer able to benefit from it in a way we once did we tend become disappointed or angry even.
We will have these feelings regardless of what the circumstances may be behind these sudden changes. Don't tell me how you think I smell like a sweet beautiful Rose one day but then can't handle the smell of the cow manure that helps me grow. Don't praise my good qualities but then not be able to deal with the not so good ones.
Please Don't Praise me,,, I am only human!
I felt the need to comment on your blog since you left a comment on mine. I believe I may be the best person to respond to this for you.
ReplyDeleteChange is a necessity in growth. But there are two ways to grow. To keep this as short as possible with change, if you change the wrong thing then you lose a lot. You grew towards a negative result instead of a positive. Blinded by your own denial asking questions that you want the answer to be anything but it was something to do with you.
I do not know about "Men". I can answer this for myself, just a "Man". Praise by definition means: "expression of admiration: words that express approval or admiration, e.g. for somebody's achievements or for something's good qualities." Is this really what you recieved. Most people never know what someone else thinks or feel because the refuse to find out from that person, and they refuse to accept thier answer when provided. The natural defense of most is to say, "No it can't be me". When the fact of the matter it can be that simple.
The Break Down:
ReplyDeleteIf you give a person the world that you want them to have, but never asked them for the world they wanted to recieve it's not their fault you let them down.
If you believe that they are your best freind, it isn't because of you bowing to them and only doing as they say. Thats not a friend its a boss. If that is the person you have "No" isn't an option. Yet if they are your best friend it means treat them as such, looking at them as a boss over you will change your appearance to that same "Best Friend".
Men that love just your appearance will always be seasons in you life. Looks go away, affections leave you when you are unable to do the same things due to health, but a man that loves you loves you even when none of the above can be achieved. We often loose people when we take advantage of thier true intentions for us if we are not easy.
I, personally do not desire a sickly female, but if I love that person I would never see her sickness only her. If you are attracted to things that go away so will those feelings. I do not desire to have a temporary partner.
You are correct people change, some good and some bad. You can tell some of these things by what you loose.
If you were suddenly not sick any longer it would be a blessing for the person that loves you and they would want you to do what you previously couldn't. See the world that was limited at one point. Desire things that are were once out of your grasp. That person that loves you would also let you live, life is precious.
ReplyDeleteIf you suddenly meet new people they would love your new found joy in friends that were not thier before. But at the same time becareful not to neglect who was there for you for so long.
I will tell you about me, I have accepted people because of the rose they are and the manuer they stand in.
I have had someone that fits your description you provide. That person that I loved despite the situation has grown. They have grown to be disrespectful and point fingers at every direction except herself.
How do you loose someone who has been through it all. I was there when she prospered, I was there when we split up due to both of our situations, and I have been there through her sickness. All the time not praising her but loving her. Loving her beyond what anyone can comprehend. I know this because I was there the entire time looking at myself. I didnt allow having to talk her back from siezures or wanting to die to stop my love. I didnt allow changing her diaper to prevent me seeing her as the person that I have never stopped loving. I haven't allowed her finances to drain my love, when she needed, I went without. I provided all I could by communicating with her, what I could do she knew I would, what I couldn't do she knew I would not, yet she always knew.
I have done things for her that no other man that was anything short of real with her would have done. This same person that I have given my all for has shown a side of them in change that has been one thing.
Disrespectful.
This person that I have done all for wants to blame previous relationships on my outlook of her now. She wants to blame everything around her, when she needs to look within. I am a real person, I do not look at the rose or the manuer the rose sprouted out of. I look at the very essence of the rose, and if it turned into something that has a wretched smell. Well not even I could take the stinch of the disrespect it emits from its precense.
You are right, people should only praise God. But to answer your question after all this of which you read. Maybe your problem isn't that you changed, its how you changed.
I wrote a blog call "Tired" its a good one that applies to this. Some people get tired, but don't allow you needing rest to disrespect people. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. I dont think average person that gets healthy realize that they have sickened the person that was there for them. And since its been so long since they have seen health, they don't stop to notice that the other person may be sick.
Live your life Juanita "BrandNew" Cummings. I hope what you have gained is worth more than what you have lost. Time will tell, but what also will tell you is that feeling inside when you realize that they are truly "Gone". And what will come to grasp is that it is all your fault, not the fault of any other situation.
All I can say is Wow. That Woman feels the exact same way u do. that woman is I. There are a number of things I could have done better but for u to actually say "ALL YOUR FAULT" after what I've been through with u, that is just wrong & that is my opinion and mine only. I am aware of what you've done for me & I am & always will be grateful, if u wanted a life long partner, it wasn't me, couldn't have been cause I wanted the same. Its not your fault if i didn't want to wait any longer, thats just where I ended up. People do get tired and yes that doesn't mean they have to turn into assholes, which is what I was becoming & I see that now. I see.
ReplyDeleteBecause I see I can do something about it. I am sorry for hurting u, I truly am, u hurt me too. That is in the past now, today is a new day & all is forgiven in God's eyes. I don't feel like I lost anything cause as long as I love u, u will always be with me. What u did for me will always be with me, lessons I've learned from us will always be with me. All I can do is live & take things one day at a time, God has promised to walk with me & show me what is good for my journey and what isn't, what needs to stay & what needs to leave. I am just trying to make sure i don't confuse what he says & do the human thing by making up my own mind instead of giving it all to him this time around.
Thank u for your imput though I appreciate it very much.
God promised me that If i walk with him, He will reveal so much that has been hidden from me for so long. I trust that this will happen in due time. Things about those closest to me along with things about myself.
ReplyDeleteU mentioned a lot about what you've done for me fiancially and emotionally. I'd like to think I've made some of the same sacrafices for u as well. I can remember a time going without so that u didn't which was very recent. I have done a lot without ever asking for it back in the form of some sort of loan, nor have I ever taken anything back that I've told u u could have. Even with some of the great things that I've done it would be ignorant of me to say no one else will do as much for u. U just may meet someone with more resources and the capability to do more if u haven't already. The same goes for me. I can't even say no one will love u as much as I did cause I don't know that, we all want to think that our love is the greatest love when it comes to matters of the heart. What I can say is no one will ever love u like I did cause no one will ever be me. Again I am glad u commented though u said a lot and your thoughts and feelings did not go unheard.
ReplyDelete